Throwing my youth away

I am desperate to go out there and start my adventure.

I am desperate.

I am desperate not to throw my youth away.

I am THAT desperate.

I am sitting here online after 3 hours of studying. WTF is wrong with me? Wasn't I suppose to be out there smoking cigarettes, smoking weeds, bong, heroin, drugs, making out with dudes, climbing trees, rebel against parents etc..

I know throwing myself into such lifestyle is stupid. But you only get to call it stupid when you suffered. If you get out alive, healthy, wealthy believe me you'll call it adventure. Sadly, I never have the guts to start my adventure. Sigh.

I am slowly throwing my youth away. So I made a plan. Hopefully I could take year off and travel to Brazil or South Africa or India to help those poor souls. Because I realized I am whining about throwing my youth away. The truth is; I'm lucky to have a normal life. Children in these third world country is in real trouble. Slavery, prostitution etc. I don't want them to throw their youth away.....