I am desperate to go out there and start my adventure.
I am desperate.
I am desperate not to throw my youth away.
I am THAT desperate.
I am sitting here online after 3 hours of studying. WTF is wrong with me? Wasn't I suppose to be out there smoking cigarettes, smoking weeds, bong, heroin, drugs, making out with dudes, climbing trees, rebel against parents etc..
I know throwing myself into such lifestyle is stupid. But you only get to call it stupid when you suffered. If you get out alive, healthy, wealthy believe me you'll call it adventure. Sadly, I never have the guts to start my adventure. Sigh.
I am slowly throwing my youth away. So I made a plan. Hopefully I could take year off and travel to Brazil or South Africa or India to help those poor souls. Because I realized I am whining about throwing my youth away. The truth is; I'm lucky to have a normal life. Children in these third world country is in real trouble. Slavery, prostitution etc. I don't want them to throw their youth away.....
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Throwing my youth away
Posted by Shanana at 8:52 PM 0 comments
Labels: away africa
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Today I'm a geek, cos tomorrow's worth it.
So, I spent 8 FUCKING HOURS in the library today. 7.30 am - 3.30 pm. You may ask, WHAT THE HELL?? Well, Sagu, Matul, Syu and I decided to have a study group. When I say study I really mean it. Sagu, Syu and Matul studied trough notes while I practiced the past year (1997-2007). TEN FUCKING YEARS. I finished all the MCQs. Imagine, each year got 40 MCQs. Times that with ten. HAHH. I DID 400 FUCKING MCQs.
Headache. Sigh, that's why I'm taking a break right now.
I'm listening to Decode right now by Paramore. One of twilight's soundtrack. I'm telling you, that song suits my mood right now. Emo-depressing-vagina song. How lovely.
Oh NJ, I figured, there's no need to keep secrets from you, since we both have something in common (we love baking). HAHA. SO MEET THE MAGICAL FLOUR! JENG! JENG! JENG!
Posted by Shanana at 1:11 AM 0 comments
Labels: strez
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Greetings from MSN, wish you were queer
I had a conversation with Lutfi today. Guess what? We'll be working 9 days at Giant and 1 month at the Empire. HAHA.
At first I detest working. Then I felt sorry for him cos he needed the money to start his project, I was.... "Okayyyyy fineeee".
So yeah, we'll be working this "summer". I'll be inviting Fatin, Lanji and Qawiem too. That should be fun. Haven't asked Sagu though. Amalia? No need! I'll just ask my sister to ask Amalia's sister to force Amalia to work. Get my drift? HAHA.
So work people! Work! Come to me if you need work! I don't wanna go back to school next year, and see you guys all gain weight and on CRACK. Crack is Whack!
P/s: I think I need the money too. OHHHH, I love you Tiffany :)
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Greetings from Aprika, wish you were queer
I've decided to talk more and less picture. Don't worry, it'll all be over soon after my English exam.
I was watching The Fever starring an old woman and Angelina Jolie just now. It's about a rich woman moaning about her rich life because she felt bad for the poor people. AGH. It made me really sick. You're rich, be happy bitch.
But that story got me thinking;
Life's a bit cracky isn't it? It's just so unfair that some people make thousands of dollars by just working 8 hours a day, while others got one dollar by just working 24-hours a day.
So unfair, but it's human nature to be greedy.
Honestly, I have no idea why some people called me chipskate/greedy. Just because I don't want to give money to African charity doesn't mean I'm greedy. I have good reason for that, I don't want them to spend it on drugs!
Another thing is, I'm too poor to pay attention. So paying attention to you will be a waste of time. you know what they say, time is money.
Posted by Shanana at 7:32 PM 0 comments
Greetings from Kitchen, wish you were queer
As I'm typing I couldn't help but to realize that my nephew is an arse who stepped on a broken glass ended up crying with blood all over his feet. PITY-PITY. Kesian...
Which reminds me of my childhood (well, it has nothing to do with my nephew's tragedy, but what the heck). I remember when I was young, December 1996. My family had a trip to UK to visit Abang Boy.
As a child, I was fascinated by the fact that there's a mosque at centuries year old christian-ruled country. Of course, my dearly beloved Abang Boy has no intention to disappoint me. So he decided to visit a mosque at central London with me!
Friday came, he went to the mosque with me for Juma'at Prayer like every other Muslim. We arrived at the mosque and went for a walk for awhile. As we walk, I realized everyone was looking at Abang Boy with this stupid annoying look on their face. I don't think Abang Boy realize that because he was busy talking about history-astronomy and all.
Then we met Imam who work at the mosque.
"Nice hair, where did you get it done?" The Imam said to Abang Boy.
Abang Boy was flattered by the fact that the Imam just compliment his strong-orange-colored-hair.
One question started to pop in my head; what's with all the other muslim staring at Abang Boy's orange head as if it was some kind of a devil? While the Imam said otherwise?
That was when my view in every aspects started to change. You don't need to be closed minded to be religious, cos it made you look stupid.
When I say stupid, I mean REALLY STUPID.
Posted by Shanana at 6:50 PM 0 comments
Labels: stupidity
Greetings from Dapur, wish you were queer
I received text just now, from I-have-no-idea-who and Zirah. Saying that those who suffered from "HOT-WATER-DELAY" during bio practical can come to school and complain it to the principle.
The outcome? I don't know...I think it's kind of sad and unfair that they received the hot water few minutes before the practical ended. I guess they deserve second chance.
But hey, if the "HOT-WATER-DELAY" victims got the second chance, I don't think it's fair to others. I think we all should get the second chance. What do you guys think?
Reality check, this is our opportunity to set things right. I'm telling you, my paper was a bit shitty. HAHA.
Posted by Shanana at 12:53 AM 0 comments
Labels: pwactical
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Greetings from F's, wish you were queer
Anyway, so here I am online with bio notes (still in my bag). While my SO-CALLED-STUDENT is lying on her bed. HOT! ;P
HAHA. Crazy. Kan belajar kah tidur ni?
Shitty man. I fucked up my chemistry practical. Well, not really, my calculations are all right. My qualitative analysis too. My stupid titration is a shitty. I haven't a clue what that question wanted from me and ended up forgetting to add starch. SILLY.
Computer paper? Easy. Except the last part. Well, everything with algorithm. The rest requires logic and common sense. Sadly I have none.
Told my mum everything was easy and okay tough. Just to make her feel better. Can't afford to tell her the truth. As you all know, truth hurts.
Moving on,
I had a conversation with annabelle and amalia yesterday. It was breath-taking covo. HAHA. So, the three of us agreed that the best age to get married is around late-20's right? But what will happen if you're 28 and all your friends are married? Stupid.
That's my worst-biggest fear. Being single, alone in your own world while all your friends are having family issues. DAMN.
Should I just hang out with bunch of lesbians? Sigh... I don't wanna be alone on my late-20's :S
Never too late to get laid. HAHA. (just feel like typing that, it rhymes! HAHA)
Posted by Shanana at 11:03 PM 0 comments
Labels: alone, beeetch, sorry baby
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Greetings from Prison, wish you were queer
Aghhhh. LOOK AT ME!
Posted by Shanana at 10:42 PM 0 comments
Labels: cool not
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Greetings from Rumah Sebalah, wish you were queer
Posted by Shanana at 3:41 AM 0 comments
Labels: mac is awesome
Friday, October 3, 2008
Greetings from Paris, wish you were queer
Posted by Shanana at 11:48 PM 0 comments
Labels: open house, paris, queer
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Greetings From Jamaica, Wish You Were Queer
I just finished watching Grey's Anatomy season 4. Now I'm watching season 5. Sigh. season 5 is steamy. hot. awesome. It looked so straight. Yet there are few curfews, lesbian kiss, even three sum! crazy.
I have to stop watching them. Quiet inappropriate for someone my age to watch them. HAHA.
till next time, xoxo
Izuana
P/s: FINE I'LL STOP WATCHING THEM AFTER SEASON 5..
Posted by Shanana at 9:50 PM 0 comments
Labels: greys
First day with Nj
I’m too tired to blog. But hey, today is history. I’m going to talk about it.
So, first day of raya went well. DOY.
I lost Adrian at nini’s house next door.
I blew off my stomach at NJ’s open house.
I slept at dad’s couch at his home in Bunut.
How very ironic. But what caught my attention today is spending my raya at NJ’s. I mean SERIOUSLY, ke rumah kawan on the first day of raya? THAT’S RARE. HAHA.
NJ’s house is at Kg Buang Tengkurok. Scary name isn’t it? Wait till you get there, it’s like the scariest place ever. The never ending forest, mountains, stall which sells ‘jawi’ chicken at $3.80 etc. WEIRD place I’m telling you. I never thought that there’s actually civilization living there.
I took me an hour to get to her house; of course, it could have been faster if my mum uses the short cut. When I say fast, I meant the difference is 45 mins or so. HAHHHH.
So arrived at Nj’s place situated on top of mountain. The walls are painted with yellow and it has green roof. I was hesitating to get myself out of the car. Her house looked different from what I see on Google earth.
Me: Mum ke dapan sikit, liat garage nya dulu.
*Mum accelerates*
There I saw, YELLOW ford. The only YELLOW ford in Brunei.
I straight away knew the house is definitely Nj’s. HAHA.
I said my goodbye to mum and Adrian, out of the car and stood in front of the main entrance of Nj’s house.
The first one to greet me was Nj’s sister, Nadia followed by her brother YMRM Nazmi and her parents. (Nj was at the kitchen).
Nj was wearing the same outfit she wore during sungkai with 5c (haha, expose eh). Ironically, Nj doesn’t know how to socialize outside school EVEN with her own friend. Tsk tsk.
She has nice, cozy living room. Colorful Cornish, orange ceiling, pink curtains, red and green chairs… AGH, I made it sound ugly, but you should go there. It’s a nice-welcoming-place.
So, I sat down and Mr.Nazmi (haha) offered me two glasses of soya bean. I have no idea what’s with the two glasses. But it got me thinking for awhile, maybe because the radius of the glass is quiet small, so it can only hold limited amount of volume. IS THAT WHY I HAVE TWO GLASSES? Hm, it still got me thinking why.. HAHHH.
I took a look around at her place (EXCEPT HER ROOM!). It was depressing to see NJ with curly hair when she was young. I wanna say she looked cute. (but, couldn’t say that out loud cos I have a reputation to handle. HAHA.)
Anyway, Nj’s open house offered quiet interesting meals. East meets west. It has satay, spaghetti, nasi, ayam etc. But since I just had meal at my grandma’s, I could only afford to eat little amount of satay and spaghetti only.
After I finished my meal, Nj and I browsed the internet using her Macbook. Hahhhhh, awesome. It was quiet confusing that she has two televisions playing different channels at the same time. I was torn to watch between astro or rtb. HAHA.
Nj’s mum saw that I finished my drink. Then she offered me a can of soya bean again. SHE OFFERED ME TWICE. And I said yes at each offer. By the end of the drink, I found my stomach was about to burst. It was too full. HAHA.
It was fun celebrating raya at Nj’s. You get to know her family. HAHA. I mean really, guys, Nj’s dad is not really that scary. I think he’s funny. Do not trust your first impressions guys.. HAHA. And NJ atu urang kampong aying rupanya….
Before I went home, I showed Adrian off to NJ. I think it’s about time she meet him in person. HAHA. Ms.Nadia (haha) offered Adrian candies. He went hyper/wild after that. Tsk. Tsk.
Nj’s mum gave me green packet! HAHA. ENVELOPE FROM SIN KIEW HIN! Macam rare jua tu! Sakai ku eh. Haha.
Till next time,
Izuana
SELAMAT HARI RAYA!
Posted by Shanana at 8:59 AM 0 comments
Labels: SHR NJ
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Eid Murtabak Fitr
Sadly, $10 saja? Not that I'm not greatful, its jus that... I haven't received pocket money from him this month. HAHA.
Then followed by Kakayah.
Haven't seen Kaka Yu though. But Adrian's here at home.
So, we (Adrian and I) went next door to greet nini. Ironically Adrian went missing. AGH. RUPANYA BALIK YA! Little bastard. Tungkal jua ku tu! KAN MENANGIS KU SUDAH.
Anyway, my baju kurung for today is CREAME. HAHA.
CH-CH-CH-CH-CHECK IT OUT!
Posted by Shanana at 8:04 PM 0 comments
Labels: 1st day of raya